Yeah, people tend to get upset and hold grudges if you're forcefully kicked off the land you've farmed for generations and made to live in refugee camps.
Native Americans also engaged in attacks against the people taking their land and destroying their way of life. Can you fault them?
Anyways, yes one way you can protect yourself from the consequences of pissing people off and depriving them of their land and livelihood is to engage in these COIN operations you speak of.
Interestingly though, the RAND think tank did an extensive study on this:
https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RR291z1.html
Two important conclusions from this are:
1) "The "iron fist" COIN path, focused primarily on eliminating the insurgent threat, is historically less successful. A motive-based path (one that focuses on eliminating the incentives to support or participate in an insurgency) has been much more successful."
2) "The COIN concept "crush them"proved to be more strongly correlated with a government loss than with a win."
Eliminating the incentives to support or participate in an insurgency... this is where the United States (and its client state Israel) have failed abysmally.
Along with forcing people off the land you seek in imperial conquest and forcing them to live in squalid conditions - continuing to try to bomb them into submission results in MORE terrorism, not less.
The US tried this and failed in Vietnam. Turns out, mass carpet bombing and burning children with napalm didn't really 'win hearts and minds' and endear the locals to the American cause of 'freedom'.
The USA succeeded in INCREASING terrorist activity in the areas it operated in during the 'war on terror', especially Afghanistan which was a complete waste of 20 years of COIN.
Israel is doing the same thing, continuing to attempt to solve their security problems by imposing an increasingly-militarized form of apartheid, in addition to INCREASING settlement building and displacement of Palestinians. Now they've taken Hamas' bait and have been goaded into a catastrophic assault on Gaza which - in addition to being a humanitarian catastrophe for Gaza - is turning into a political one for Israel. Israel is rapidly losing support around the world, and even straining relations with its 1 key backer: The US.
You point out that the suicide attacks declined by 2008, but the overall security situation in Israel has not improved despite the immense resources expended on military/security measures (much of which comes from the US taxpayer). It's only deteriorated.
October 7 is proof of that.
"it's political Islamists fanning the fire"... Israeli leadership and Members of Parliament do plenty of flame-fanning as well, like Bezalel Yoel Smotrich (the Finance Minister), and Itamar Bin Gvir (the National Security Minister). Don't forget actual Jewish terrorists like Baruch Goldstein, who attacked a Mosque in Hebron with a military-grade rifle killing 29 people (including children) and injuring 125:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cave_of_the_Patriarchs_massacre
Netenyahu has been known to fan a few flames as well, even supporting Hamas at one point knowing that their tactics would serve as an effective impediment to any two-state peace process. He boasts about being the one that has blocked any chances for a Palestinian state for decades:
How did this Israeli state 'seed' in these lands? There's a lot of history you're ignoring there. It did not just materialize overnight. Perhaps, that 'western influence' that you speak of is part of the problem, in terms of countries like the US and Great Britain carving up territories in ways beneficial to their imperial interests of conquest, arming/funding/supporting questionable regimes and groups and 'projects', and then becoming bedeviled by and dragged into endless conflict and spiraling 'defense' and 'security' spending. This causes even more bloodshed, resentment, terrorism and instability in the region.
Are you sure you have the 'whole picture' which you're suggesting others don't have?
